I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
