I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
