shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Need sex. Gaining weight.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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