No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
