im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
