Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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