windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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