Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
