he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
