this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
