This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
