I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize