why didn't you poke me back
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
