also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
