Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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