I'm really into asian looking animals
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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