We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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