The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
