Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
