I wannas sexs uuuuu
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
