Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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