problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
