hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize