Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
