I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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