community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize