I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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