She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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