Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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