bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
