She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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