When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
