You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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