i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
