so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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