Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
