The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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