Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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