He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
