Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
