no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This is my gift to your gina
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
