btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
