Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
