In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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