no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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