I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
