Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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