worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I touched a dick in church today
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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