So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
how drunk are you?
Several
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
