Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
