the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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