singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
