Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
