My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
