So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Randomize
