I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
