Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
