Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My life is pants optional.
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