ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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