Screwed.edu
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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