It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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